Tonight,though still rocky,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had some things planned.
I had to go to another local organization to help me handle some legal stuff concerning the house that I am still currently living in and see if they could help me locate a good lawyer for that.I made an appointment with them and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local kitchen to have lunch and after eating the lunch,I headed straight home
When I got home,I relaxed and listened to some music while doing so.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.It is never an easy thing to deal nor struggle with.I never how my emotions nor mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable or impossible to deal with.I simply talk about the issues and the matter of my mental illness struggles with both God and Christ and they help sustain me.It is simply a matter of being sincere in my heart and simply asking them to help get me through all the emotional roller coaster rides and all the noises and things that only I can hear and always looking over my shoulder to see what is there,only to find nothing.Still,I am going to continue relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this happens and continue to ask them to help sustain me in this.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning when I masturbated an erection away.After the episode,I really felt bad for doing that and I asked God to forgive me for doing that in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I felt better.The roots for the fall is simply still feeling the mixed emotions of everything that has been happening.From my mother getting sick,her passing away and all the emotions that have been reeling through me as a result of that and yes,there was a tad lusting involved as well.Though I do believe that I was forgiven and I can move on,this make me more determined to stay on guard and be watchful as the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it takes,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.It did this morning and it was an ugly fall at that.I also have to ask God to give me the strength to really resist these urges and also to ask him to help sustain me.I also have to learn not to let any emotions get the better of me so it doesn't lead to even more falls.I always feel bad whenever I fall,but though I do,I do still believe that I am forgiven when I ask to be forgiven.I am also asking for prayers and support while I am still going through a difficult time in my life as I am working to get over these emotional issues that have been plaguing me as of late.I will continue praying to God in the name of Jesus Christ in the meantime,but I stll ask for prayers by those who follow my blog and who read the posts that I write on this blog.Thanks in advance for prayers offered and Thanks also to God and Christ for all of their help.
Tomorrow,I have a men's meeting that I must attend.As for the rest of the weekend,it will be church as usual,but I still haven't made any other plans other than that.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ