Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work.I relaxed for much of the day as I had no place to go nor anything to do.I watched a little TV and I laid down to read for a while.
After getting back up,I did some more personal PC work.
For much of the day,I was waiting for the evening as there was going to be an Ascension service tonight at another church that wasn't too far away from the church that I worship in.I was anticipating meeting people who worshiped at this particular church and participating in the worship ceremony.
After having a light dinner,I got dressed up in dress clothes and I headed for the church for the service and I was looking forward to it.
The worship service was wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with the people,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my dress clothes and started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I gave into temptation in the mid afternoon by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and the temptation to fantasize and lust after other men,which motivated the temptation for the genital manipulation.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went to far and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed hard and I left nothing out.When I was finished,I felt better as I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.I am not trying to justify this current fall into sin,but what motivated the fall was that I am very bored.I am bored with my current situation.I am trying real hard to find a job in my hometown and I am having a hard time.The boredom today really got the worst in me out.I am sick of being out of work and I want to work real badly.I have been leaving messages with one place and I haven't heard back from them.I have been feeling really intense boredom and it is really getting to me.I now really have to work on getting tough with myself.I have to stop this thing.I don't know why I keep manipulating my genitals and I also don't know why sexual images of men keep clouding my mind so much.I need to find out what the root cause of this is before I go crazy.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I really need some positive verbal support desperately.Please don't be shy when visiting and leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.These types of support help keep me going.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.They also reaffirm and reassure me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ