This post may contain things that might trigger something negative in others, particularly men, who struggle with SSA.

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I procrastinated and didn't shower for much of the morning after getting up.I simply checked my e-mail and reduced my e-mail load in two other accounts that I have and after that,I had my usual quick breakfast.A half hour later,I finally showered and when I was finished,I got dressed and quickly did my personal PC work.After that was done,I decided to head out to get something to eat.After that,I decided to take a drive out to another area of the county that I live in and stopped at a Salvation Army thrift store and I bought a few things.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up something for dinner and after I paid for that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something else to have with my dinner.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I started to prepare my light evening meal and when I was finished eating,I did some more personal PC work.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Yesterday and today,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men that were clouding my mind and it also gave into fantasizing and lusting after them.On both of these occurrences,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father and asked for forgiveness and for his mercy in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed hard and Left nothing out.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my fall and I pleaded for his mercy and forgiveness.When I was finished praying,I felt much better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.Since I was out for much of the day,I had no more problems with sexual temptations and lusting.Before posting this particular entry for today,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I threw everything on him.I realized that I still had an obsession with male images and symbols,including an obsession with male nudity.I threw this obsession on my Heavenly Father and I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me break free from this obsession.I also asked my Heavenly Father to help me break free from this obsession.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out.I threw everything on my Heavenly Father.I laid it on him and I honestly told him everything.I realized that this is why I am having the problem of manipulating my genitals to these images as I was still inadvertently enslaved to this particular obsession.I also threw on him something that threw me off a few days ago when I was having a conversation with some other man and he mentioned something about the drug store where I pick up my prescriptions.He mentioned that they sold condoms for "less than average sized men"(he did use vulgar slang for male genitals as a reference to them)and again,it threw me off.This actually contributed to my two consecutive falls over the last two days.I mentioned everything and I also admitted to my Heavenly Father that I wasn't fully relying on him lately and I also asked to be forgiven for that as well.I prayed for almost ten minutes and when I was finished,I felt like a giant weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.I felt much better and also,I felt relieved.I need to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer a lot more now whenever these things start coming around again.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both your prayers and positive verbal support daily.I feel alone when I don't see anything encouraging in the comments section.Your support,both prayerful and positive verbal,helps keep me going.They also help reaffirm and reassure me that I am not alone in this particular fight and struggle.Please continue praying for me.I also ask that you please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual in the morning and hoping to go see a movie a little later on,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ