Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did my personal PC work and I managed to get it done despite an issue with the internet connection that lasted ten minutes,which made me re-start my computer to get the internet going well again.
I had only a few things on my agenda for today.I first had a very important appointment with a counselor from an association that I had an orientation with as the month of March was winding down.This time,it was to get me hooked up with a local job placement program in my hometown.
The meeting with the counselor went better than expected.The counselor told me that I should be hearing from the local job placement office real soon.After the meeting was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a movie.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle against the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that they are there to help me and that I don't have to suffer alone.It does make me feel a tad better knowing that.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I,for the second consecutive time this week,gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals to lustful and sexual images of me that were clouding my mind.It led to ejaculation and I felt nothing but misery after falling.After washing my hands,I immediately asked God to forgive me for falling in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I begged for God's mercy as this was my second consecutive fall this week.After I was finished,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that the slate was wiped clean.I really need to work on taking these weaknesses and put them in Gods hands.I can't keep falling every time that I turn around.Don't get me wrong,I know that God in his son Christ Jesus' name forgives unlimitedly,but I still need to work on this as I don't want to keep falling constantly.I need to ask God for strength whenever these temptations come around.I really need to go to God and take these temptations to him in prayer and also,I have to learn to be really tough with myself.I want to do what God wants me to do and I want to do the right thing in his eyes and what his sacred word,the Holy Bible,says to do.It is just that my sinful nature wants me to do the exact opposite,which I don't want to do at all,as that would displease God.I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continually keep praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I am also asking that all of you please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ