Tonight,my road to recovery continues positively.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did only a fraction of my personal PC work because I was planning to go to this morning's church service.After I was done with the computer,I got dressed up and headed over to the church for the morning's service.
The service was wonderful.I got a lot out of it and the fellowship before and after the service was as wonderful as the service itself.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my casual clothes.I had a light lunch of a bowl of soup and after lunch,I finished up my personal PC work.
After the computer,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up several things that were needed for dinner tonight.After paying for all of those items,I headed straight home as that is where I stayed for the rest of the day as I had no place else to go nor any place else to go.
When I got home,I put all the stuff away and after that,I simply watched a DVD while relaxing.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.
Though my recovery continues on a positive road,I am still dealing and struggling with bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies and the symptoms alongside it.I am dealing with them on a one day at a time basis.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue feeling better in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my struggles with SSA,I fell short early this morning.I masturbated to images of nude men with erections.I simply manipulated my genitals to hardness and masturbated until orgasm and ejaculation.I felt miserable afterwards as I really didn't know what to make of this failure.I felt like that I had failed God and his son Jesus Christ.I so desperately want to heal from unwanted SSA and I do want to become the man that God wants me to be.I don't want to masturbate anymore and I am tired of those nude men images clouding my mind.If anyone out there can help me beat these habits,please do so.Any advice or suggestions are appreciated.I did feel a little bit better once I attended the morning's church service,but the failure until then was a big weight on me.If anyone out there can offer any helpful suggestions,I would really appreciate that.Thanks.
Tomorrow,I have a couple of groups that I will be attending in the early afternoon.After that,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ