Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too eventful day today.The reason why the day was not too eventful was because of the weather being HAZY,HOT & HUMID.But I managed to get some stuff done today.I managed to make it to my appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor and the meeting with her went pretty good.After that,I went home to cool off before doing some more shopping.I went to pick up a half gallon of ice cream and I also went to a Burger King in my area for a ICEE cold drink.While there,I saw some young men sitting in some chairs and they were looking at me very unusually.I did not pay any attention to them as I was going to get my straw for my drink.As I was walking past them to get to a seat to enjoy my drink,one of them called me a faggot and the others laughed as he did so.Again,I paid no attention as I was walking past them and they left the restaurant soon after.I just sat down and started to sip my ICEE.When I finished,I disposed of my cup and I talked with an elderly couple before I left.They jokingly asked if it was hot enough for me and I jokingly answered "Yes it is."Again,I did not let what those young men did to me get the better of me.I know that I am not a Gay man.I was only sexually abused in that sense and that is what contributed to me having these SSA desires.I am still determined to overcome these desires and not let them control me or determine who I am.I know that I am NOT Gay and I also know that I,deep down,do not find men sexually attractive.I know what led me to having these desires and as stated,I am not going to let them control me nor will I let them determine who I am or determine my choice in sexual partners.I know that men and women were created to compliment each other and as stated,I am not going to let these SSA desires control me.I am also not going to let name calling determine who I am either.Faggot is simply a negative label and besides,traditionally,faggot is a bunch of twigs tied together,which is something I am not.I am a human being and I am also a man.I am determined to be the man that I want to be and not what the world wants to make me out to be.I know that I am not Gay.I only have the desires and I know that the desires can be changed with the right emotional support.I am still seeking that and I am not giving up.Apparently,those young men wanted to start something with me and they were disappointed that they did not get what they wanted from me.OH WELL!Live and learn.
The rest of the day went by pretty well.After I arrived home,I relaxed for a bit.I finished my personal computer work and I ate dinner.Before the day is through,I don't know what I will do.But I know that it will be something that will get me out in the community and that is what I am striving to do.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ
2 comments:
Hey, FJ:
What those guys said was hurtful It was a mean thing to say, especially since they had nothing to base it on. You didn't know them. I could say, let it pass. Well, let it pass. You know the truth. You are not seeking gay attention.
By the way, I think it is not sinful to find some guys attractive as long as you are not lusting after them for sex. There are some attractive people out there. Bless them. Walk on.
You will dwell on those negative words for some time. That is human nature. But you have truth on your side. Forgive them for being idiots. They have miseries they have to endure too and are angry people.
FJ, grow stronger through this test. Go back to Burger King when you want an Icee. I haven't had one of those in years. I might get one soon.
Heads up,
Vic
Hello Vic
Thanks for those words.Truly appreciated.
I do have a few things to say about what you said.I will express them in a personal e-mail hopefully tomorrow.Thanks again.FJ
Post a Comment