Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly.I simply did what I had to do in the short period of time that I had and after I ate lunch,I simply bagged everything and dropped it off at the rehab center.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I relaxed for a bit before laying down to try and take a nap.But the old images of having sexual relations with men began to take over and I found myself manipulating my sexuality while this was happening.I stopped when I was at the moment of ejaculating.This has been a crushing weight on me.This has been happening to me for quite some time since the death of my friend at the hands of a hit and run driver.They still haven't found the driver responsible as of yet and personally,I am getting impatient.I want justice for my friend who is dead and didn't deserve to die.He was also too young to die.Again,they haven't found the person responsible and I am getting ansy.There will also be no funeral for him.They are just going to bury him and I am hoping to find out where they are going to do that so I can pay my respects to him.This has been an incredible bearing on me and I am hoping that this passes soon.I really miss him and I still find it hard to believe that he is gone.I still have a lot of sadness in me and I am always going to have that due to his absence.I am hoping that justice is served soon and that the person responsible gets the full maximum punishment for what they did.
Again,I am still being plagued by images of men and having sexual relations with them.If anyone out there who is also in the healing process from unwanted Homosexual/SSA desires or has been in the process for a long time,I really need some advice on how to handle this and how I can replace these images with wholesome and pure images of men and even thoughts of them in the same manner.I want to see men as brothers and not as future possibilities as sexual partners.I have to also keepp remembering that it's men and women and not men and men as the so-called Gay culture wants to keep alive and well,which they have no right in doing because the sexual activity is sinful,gross,immoral and inappropriate.I want wholesome and healthy relationships with other men and NOT sex.Again,any advice would be appreciated.
After eating a light dinner,I registered a few more bills at the Where's George site and earlier tonight,I bought a few movies at Blockbuster video.I still have one more thing to do before turning in for the night.After that,I am staying home.
Tomorrow is another work day and I am hoping that the shift goes well.I am also attending a Halloween party tomorrow night at the place where I entertain each and every week and I am going to do that tomorrow night and even Saturday night.I am hoping that both nights go well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day and weekend ahead.FJ