Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.I had a pretty so-so day today.
Today was my day off.I simply did some catching up on some shopping.It was an accomplishment.Since I haven't had a vehicle for much of the month(as of this writing,I still don't have a vehicle),I couldn't do much of what I wanted to do.I have missed some very great things this month because of me not having a vehicle.I am feeling really angry at the moment because my mechanic's assistant at the garage hasn't gotten around to it and I keep getting the same old "BULLSHIT STORY!!!!" as to why he hasn't started it yet.I understand that he is all alone there and that he is only one man.But my 4X4 has been there for over a month.The fuel leak has been fixed but it is in desperate need of that new ball joint on the driver side.Since we have been having some treacherous winter weather lately,I don't want to take any chances.A bad ball joint is bad news because it means that the vehicle is not safe.I am afraid that I could be endangering the lives of other drivers and even pedestrians as a result of this.I don't want to put other people's lives in danger nor do I want to endanger myself.This is a big deal to me because I am trying to love my neighbor and I feel that this is the best way I can do that.They have been insisting that I drive the vehicle with that bad ball joint on it but I keep saying NO.I feel that they are not being considerate of my feelings regarding this.Again,I don't want to hurt nobody.I just want my vehicle to be safe and I want it to be totally fixed so it will be.The minute that the ball joint is on my vehicle,it will be safe.Right now,it isn't.As I am writing this,my anger is really INTENSE!I don't want to be angry.I want to feel joy and happiness.But right now,I am not feeling that way.I am hoping that I can get some answers on Monday when I have to bring in some money.I just want this whole thing to be over with so I can have my vehicle back and I can start driving as well as getting my life back on track.I haven't had a real life since this whole thing happened and I am feeling INTENSELY ANGRY as a result.I want my 4X4 back and I want it to be safe for driving.I feel that I am not asking for too much.
As for the shopping,I got practically everything that I needed to get.My shopping is now complete.It took a bit of doing but I am glad to get that done.The only thing that I need is for my vehicle to be back on the road.I have to wait another weekend.But I am hoping that this can get finished and I can drive it without feeling any source of guilt or fear.
Tomorrow is Christmas.I am hoping that the day will go greatly and that everything will work out for the better.I could use a nice holiday in helping me get over this whole thing that I am going through right now.
That was my day today and my hopes for the holiday ahead.FJ