Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was simply a laundry pick-up day.The pick-up went well.There were no messes to clean up and everything worked out for the better.After having lunch at work,I sorted out the laundry and headed for home.
On the way home,I mailed out an important letter for my mom and I also dropped something off at my sister's house.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I took a nap for about an hour.I was feeling a little tired and I felt that a nap would be good.After the nap,I got dressed and ran an errand for my mom.
I had to pick up a small thing at a local Dollar General that my mom needed and I went to get that before dinner.On the way home,I stopped briefly to pick up a bag full of empty soda cans that someone left on the street.When I get a chance,I am going to take back the whole bunch of cans that I have in the back seat of my 4X4.I need to free up some room in the back.
When I got home,I ate dinner and did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
With the exception of the errand,I stayed home for much of the day because we had non-stop rain throughout the day.There is nothing to do in my hometown when it is raining.
Regarding my SSA struggles,as far as today went,I had a brief episode.I haven't acted out with someone else as a partner in a long time.But today,I did get cravings.While trying to take a nap,I had a dream where I was being pursued by other guys for sexual favors and even though I tried to escape,I would always wind up stuck in the middle where I would be surrounded by guys with their erections sticking out and them asking me to perform oral sex.Fortunately,I did wake up briefly during my nap and that stopped it.I went back to sleep and nothing happened.I did have a craving to masturbate but didn't do it.I need advice on how I can handle something like that in the near future so it won't lead me to acting out,such as masturbating to these images.I know the root of the issues that I am struggling with but I do need a more better way of coping and escaping.If anyone out there has any advice for me out,I want to hear it.Thanks.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
2 comments:
FJ: I think you are doing an incredible job where abstinence is concerned. When such dreams come, you can't really control them, so the fact that you are able to abstain is already really great. Certainly, journaling and writing these things down, and having fellow brothers come along to encourage you is a big plus! But don't just focus on abstinence and non-masturbation as your goal. Focus on developing intimacy with Jesus! And having good intimate non-sexual male bonding would be really healthy too. Bless you, my dear brother!
TCM expressed it so well, all I can do is say I agree.
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