Tonight,I am feeling a lot better than I did yesterday.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today was my day off.I really didn't have too much to do.When I got up out of bed,I had a quick breakfast and I also did my personal PC work.I also did some internet browsing for a while.
I had only a few errands to run.Firstly,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up something that my mom needed and I also went to a local post office to mail out a bill payment that is due in a few days.I shipped it out Priority Mail so it will be there pretty quickly.I also put delivery confirmation on it so I can check the shipment of the payment in a few days to see if it got there.I also paid the friend that I visited yesterday another visit.We talked for a while before I headed for home.
On the way home,I had to make one more stop.I went to a local Dollar General store to pick up a roll of aluminum foil for my mom.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I decided to relax while waiting for dinner to be ready.I did some more internet browsing but closed off the internet when the temptation to visit a pornographic site was starting.That is one thing that I want to avoid.Pornography is garbage and that is all that it is.Garbage is one thing that I wouldn't want to put in my brain and pornography is mental garbage.I felt that closing off the internet was the best way to kill off the temptation to view pornography.
After eating,I eagerly awaited a phone call from a Christian counselor that I have occasional sessions with whenever I need to talk with him.
When he called,we talked for over 1/2 an hour.We did a little tapping exercise and I felt better.I had told him the story of the car accident that I was in back in late November and he guided me through the exercise and he continuously asked me about my anxiety levels at the time of the accident and the anxiety levels that I was feeling now when I was telling hom the story.He told me that I should say to myself "Despite what happened to me,I totally and completely accept myself." and to repeat it each and every time when something that is troubling me comes to mind.Aside from that,I told him about my depression yesterday and why I was feeling the depression that had enveloped me.He understood that those things can be depressing.Plus,the struggle to do the right thing amidst unnatural desires can also bring depression.I told the counselor everything and I left nothing out.When the session was over,I felt way better and much of the way I was feeling has been replaced with a better feeling of self worth.The counselor also advised me to call him when I really need to talk with him about something.I am glad that I can do that.Again,I feel better and I am hoping to carry this feeling into the rest of the week.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I can say that I am having no thoughts or desires regarding sexual relations with other men.I am not having any images of men nor any cravings to indulge in anything sexual with other men.I am feeling good as a result.I am hoping that I can get through the rest of the week with no problems.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
5 comments:
Hi,
Thanks for visiting my blog today. Yes, I love taking pictures and it is fun writing commentary also. I see by your post that you have Dollar Stores as well. We have a few around here - good for getting things cheaply. I used to periodically watch porn; when I did I intended to only watch a couple but of course that lasts much longer. I don't want to any more, can't, it just consumes the whole person and feel bad after. I read your blog most every day now and it is good to see you being so honest. You say you do a lot of singing; what type of songs do you sing and what are you, tenor, bass? I have done quite a bit of singing and am a lyric baritone. Take good care and keep in touch, appreciate it.
Stan
Hi to you as well. Taking pictures is a pretty good hobby. I am glad that it makes you happy. I am also glad that you do read my blog. I have been posting on here for quite a while and I was never getting any readers. I am glad that there are people reading and posting comments.
Regarding singing, I sing mostly country and Vegas styled pop such as Frank Sinatra. I use both of these when I am signing. I also write songs(i.e.lyrics as I can't write music)whenever something comes to mind.
I will try to keep in touch. I will check your blog out later. Thanks again for reading and commenting.
If you want to share the words to a song you have written I'd love to read it. I have written a few songs and have put a simple melody to them. Will share one song on my blog soon - it was written for a friend who was going through a rough time of depression and anxiety.
Stan
At the moment, I don't share anything that I write on my blog. I am always afraid that someone might steal it and claim it as their own. It has happened before to others and I just don't want it to happen to me. But I am glad that you asked about this and again, Thanks for visiting.
FJ,
I understand about your not sharing the songs you have written. It is a neat exercise to put your words into a song - a certain sense of accomplishment that is uniquely your own.
Just remembered the time a long time ago when I was really down and just didn't want to live (shudder to think of it now) and right then a song came to mind and I forgot all about the plans I was thinking about. That was one specific time when I know God gave that song.
Have a great Friday and weekend. Chilly here tonight and looks like it will gradually warm up.
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