Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and since my niece came through for me and opened up the bottom of my driveway,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to the post office to mail out some Christmas cards for my friends and after that,I got some gas in my gas tank and after that,I headed over to a local Burger King for a quick lunch and after that,I headed for a local Dollar Tree to pick up some things and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a friends place to see how they were doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I decided to watch a few more holiday themed DVD's.After that,I prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is made worse by my struggles with the former psychiatric double whammy that I have.How is it made worse?I have to put up with hearing things,such as sounds that nobody hears like footsteps or voices calling out my name and there is nobody there when I look to see.I also hear someone in my head telling me to do things that I don't want to do,like today,I again gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals,but this time,I wound up ejaculating as a result of that and sexual images of men did cloud my mind.I really felt terrible about this and after washing my hands,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling.I did feel better after that.What led to the fall was the stress of me being couped up in the house all day as a result of my driveway opening being snowed in.I really have to make it a habit of praying more frequently so I don't fall so much.I really hated that I fell again and it makes me angry at myself for doing so.I have to learn to ignore the voices telling me to do that wrong and particular unclean and dirty habit of genital manipulation to sexual images of men.I need to find some way of cleaning my mind and keeping my mind pure and clean in the near and distant future.I hate it when I fall and I really hate the sexual pull that I have towards members of my own gender.I also hate it when those so called "Gay" activists sing the praises of that sinful sexual lifestyle that my Heavenly Father condemns in his sacred word,the Holy Bible,as in it's own words,which are my Heavenly Father's words written down by men as my Heavenly Father said,that the sexual activity between two members of the same gender is wrong,unclean,impure and inappropriate.Plus,I have to keep in mind that my Heavenly Father's view on sexuality,which he created,is not on par with the world's view.My Heavenly Father never intended sexuality to be used and abused the way that the world is using and abusing it.Fellow blog followers,I need prayers and positive verbal encouragement like never before.Please say a few kind words in the comments section and also,please continue praying for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ