Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda for today.Yesterday,I received a gift card from a friend of the family in a Christmas card that I received in the mail.I went out shopping at the local supermarket where the card was from and I bought some stuff that I needed pretty badly and after paying for the stuff,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a friend's business and I picked something up that he was holding for me.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed while watching a couple of DVD's.
After eating,I decided to watch a few more holiday themed DVD's.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I stayed out and stayed busy for much of the day shopping and that kept me busy.This took my mind off of the sexual stuff connected with the SSA struggle.Admittedly,the SSA struggle is a very difficult struggle to endure and deal with.It can also be very draining energy and emotional wise.At times,I wish that I didn't have to struggle with this because SSA ruins the lives of people rather than enhances them in regards to the sinful sexual activity connected with it.The thing is that I have to keep in mind that the sexual desires connected with SSA are unnatural and inappropriate.I understand that the SSA condition in itself isn't sinful,but the sexual activity connected with it is sinful.Regarding what I am looking for in regards to members of my own gender,I am simply for relationships where the benefits friendships,bonding,healthy Christian styled connections and real acceptance by my fellow men and not the false sense of acceptance that the so called "Gay" culture has,where it leads to the never ending sexual promiscuity that is very common in that culture,which can only lead to AIDS,which at present is an incurable disease that kills people who have it and suffer with it.The thing is that,even though I have brought it up numerous times,our Heavenly Father never intended sexuality to be used and abused in the way that the unholy world around us is using and abusing it for.He intended for sexuality to be shared by a man and his wife in the marital framework of healthy and happy Heterosexuality and not for anything other than that.The thing is that this SSA struggle is really overwhelming at times and the temptations can be very strong and the more that the temptations are resisted,the more stronger that they become.Fellow blog followers,I am again asking that y'all continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I would appreciate both of these positive and wonderful things.They both help keep me going.They also help keep both my determination to overcome SSA and my motivation to heal from SSA strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my daytime and evening time Holy Bible study groups,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
2 comments:
FJ,
Remember that God does not always give us what we want, but He will always give us what we need.
Always trust in Him and in His judgement for your life.
On a more personal note... It is not good to stereotype people. While you may feel that gay people are largely promiscuous and that the acceptance within gay relationships is false, this is not necessarily everyone's experience and it has never been mine.
Just because we travel different paths and believe different things about the nature and holiness of our shared sexuality does not mean that we cannot each respect one another as well as each others particular path.
Praying for your continued strength along your journey tonight.
My love to you brother,
Brandon K.
Brando
Let me try to assure you that I wasn't trying to be stereotypical when I posted what I posted in this particular blog entry. I apologize if I made you feel that way. I was only trying to say, in my own way, that it is more common in that particular culture than in all others. Again, my apologies.
Have you ever read You Don't Have to Be Gay by Jeff Konrad? I have. It was the very first book that I read when I decided to seek a way out of Homosexuality back in the early 2000's. The book is a series of letters to a certain "MIKE" who is also wanting to be free from the trap of Homosexuality and in one of the letters, dated October 3rd, 1985, Konrad quotes Dr. Robert Kronemeyer from his book Overcoming Homosexuality on this particular subject by saying:
"One of the benchmarks of homosexuality is promiscuity: it connotes the intensity of underlying fear and panic. The need for 'proof' of desirability is insatiable. Driven from partner to partner, the gay skips from one 'conquest' to the next along the interminable yellow brick road to 'love everlasting'. His sexual compulsion is like the drug addict's need for a fix or the alcoholic's unquenchable thirst. 'To be gay is to go to the bar' laments one male in a series of profiles of homosexuals, 'to make the scene, to look and look, to have a one-night stand, never really to love or be loved, to know this and yet to do this night after night, and year after year...'
Three out of ten homosexual men have never had a relationship that survived the one-night stand, and most gay men have never had an exclusive relationship with another gay that lasted as long as six months..."
I am hoping that you see what I mean and what I was trying to say in my own way.
Jeff Konrad, who wrote the book, is a Christian man who successfully overcame SSA in his own right and in an afterward, he claimed that one man he knew who also was successful in overcoming SSA went on to marriage with a woman and had a family. I am not sure if my Heavenly Father has that same sort of thing planned for me. If he does, it will be when he knows that it is the right and proper time. Right now, my main goal is to start having good, healthy, positive and stable relationships with other men where the benefits are healthy acceptance, friendships, bonding, closeness, and above all, understanding. I want to learn from other men how a man is supposed to feel and how a man is supposed to act, react and see. That is all that I am striving for and driving towards. I want to experience real fulfillment of my same sex emotional needs and not the false sense of fulfillment that the sinful sexual activity connected with the so called "Gay" culture gives. That sort of feeling of fulfillment is only temporary and when that feeling of fulfillment is gone, it's back to square one for any active Homosexual man.
Again, I hope that I have made you see what I was trying to say, convey and what I meant. My apologies again for making you get the wrong impression.
Thanks again for the kind words and take care.
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