Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I washed my hair and face over the sink,alongside shaving.After that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I got dressed and I headed out to the place where I have both a morning and afternoon group.
The morning group went well.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch.After that,I headed back for the afternoon group.
The afternoon group went as well as the morning.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.After that,I relaxed and watched a short cartoon.After that,I headed back out to pick up some take out food for dinner and after that,I went home to eat it.
After eating,I watched a classic TV episode from a DVD set that I have.After that,I did some more personal PC work.Later on,as it was getting late,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,upon arising,I gave into temptation.I gave into temptation to manipulate my genitals and yes,sexual images of men clouded my mind and I wound up ejaculating.After washing my hands,I went to my Heavenly Father and asked,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to forgive me for sinning and also to be shown mercy because I had given into this for a third consecutive time.I really felt terrible for that and I prayed hard.I left nothing out.I prayed and I prayed and when I was finished,I felt better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.Truthfully,I don't know what is wrong with me.I can't seem to shake the obsessiveness that I have nor the obsession in itself.I don't know whether I am coming or going.I can't seem to shake this terrible obsession loose.I want to break free and overcome this terrible obsession that I have with members of my own gender,which includes their bodies and everything related to men in general.If any one of you out there ever had this particular obsession,how did you manage to break free from it and overcome it.Please share with me that and I am hoping that it will work for me.Please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need the support of all of you daily and often.Please continue to pray for me.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks to all of you for your continued support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of the Maundy Thursday service in church tomorrow evening,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
1 comment:
"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will provide a way out so that you can endure it." 1 Corinthians 10:13
FJ, I have to be honest and say it took me a long time to realize this verse is true. I made every excuse there was in my mind that I couldn't say NO to the temptation...it sure seemed that way. There came a time when I got sick and tired of feeling so bad every time I fell to the same temptation concerning same-sex desires. Before I think with same-sex desires I had the feeling that somehow they would miraculously disappear.
I was not cooperating with what God's Word told me about temptation (1 Cor.10:13). In Romans 6:11 it says, "Count yourselves DEAD to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus." Christ died on the Cross and His dying and rising again broke the power of sin. Someone explained it as this: "We are dead to sin through association with Christ's death. Sin has been ejected from its throne and no longer has a RIGHT to reign in us.
The sin of homosexuality and everything associated with it no longer has a RIGHT to reign in us...because of the price Jesus Christ paid on the Cross to bring us salvation and freedom. We can stand up and proclaim, "I am dead to sin...!" Believe, FJ, and leave it in God's Almighty hands. He is able to do far above what we may even think He can.
Having just came through the Easter season it is even more clear as we think of what Jesus did by dying on the cross. He made a way so sin need never have a hold on us again. I have never felt so clean and pure as now, Christ working in you will make it so for you as well. Take good care my dear brother.
Stan
Post a Comment