Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had my usual coffee.After my coffee,I washed up real quickly and I got dressed to head for work.
The work day went well.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while and only ran a few errands during the afternoon.I also showered at my nephew's house early in teh evening.After that,I came home and ran another errand.After that,I had a light evening meal and I did my personal PC work.After that,I prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a very good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
Please continue praying for me as I am really struggling terribly right now.I also would appreciate some much needed positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks to all of you for your continued support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of work,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
1 comment:
Good day FJ,
Yesterday I was watching a video of someone who had endured sexual abuse/interference in the early years of his life. He made one point that really got my attention because I always wondered why I found it almost impossible to resist acting out or fantasizing regarding other guys. This is what he shared: "Sexual abuse destroys your boundaries, you have nothing inside that can say NO." I always berated myself almost every time I fell because I couldn't say NO. I thought there was something wrong with me. By hearing his statement I saw how sexual abuse had destroyed any healthy physical boundaries that I had. I share this because it shed so much light into the darkness of what happened back when I was 11 where our hired man had sexually molested me. I don't remember all that he did to me because I blocked out so much but it stands out so strongly in my mind and emotions. Another statement he made also spoke strongly to me, as in some ways I felt like there had been something wrong with me that he was able to so take advantage of my body. Here is the other statement that shed light on the fact I was vulnerable: "the child should have been protected and it is okay to be angry about that!" I wasn't protected from this guy and after it happened I didn't feel I could talk about it to anyone.
I wanted to share this in the hopes it will help you see what happened when you were abused. It wasn't your fault. You were an innocent kid who didn't deserve to be treated so shamefully. I hope you pray and give all this to God and that he will strengthen your boundaries so you can say "NO" and that ssa will not cause you such anxiety and be a source of pain. Praying for you my friend.
Stan
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