Tonight,I am feeling okay.It was a very good day at work for me.The work day went by smoothly and I got a lot done.The work day was a pretty good one today.
I started reading a new book by Les Carter and Frank Minirth called The Anger Workbook.I am going to start doing the work in the workbook tomorrow and jot down some of the issues that have contributed to why I am having a tough time controlling my anger.So far,I have not lost my temper in quite a while since the last time I did and it got me into trouble.But I do have one problem.I am constantly always saying angry things to myself pretending that there are people there in front of me when there is nobody there.I don't do this in front of other people but when I am alone.I work alone in a basement as part of my job with the rehabilitation agency that I work for.It has been a problem with me for quite a while and I would like to stop this habit because I could wind up hurting somebody else unintentionally or even hurt myself where people would not want me around.Though I have been making progress,according to my counselors,my supervisor and other people that I know,I would like to nip this other problem in the butt.It has really been crushing me.I want to STOP saying/shouting angry things to myself because as I have stated above,I do not want to accidently hurt myself or others.Again,it's been really crushing me and I feel that I am never going to be free of this.I want to be free.I want to control my emotions,including anger.I don't want my emotions controlling me.I feel as if I am walking on a bridge that is gonna crash down if I do not walk carefully enough to prevent it from falling.
On a positive note,I am still living and still trying to enjoy life the best way I know how.Despite my problems,I am still hanging in there and trying to keep myself under control one day at a time.But this problem that I have is really bringing me down and I,at times,feel miserable whenever it happens.I just want to be free and live without having my emotions ensnaring me.
Again,the work day went well and that was good.
But I need any advice on how I can contain this problem and keep it contained.Any advice would be helpful.Thanks so much.FJ