Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had an okay day today.Nothing special really happened today.I simply went about my day and did what I had to get done.
Last night,after I got home from having a drink with the gang at the place where I entertain to go to bed,I couldn't get to sleep.For a while,I had to keep getting out of bed to go to the bathroom.It was not constant urination but defecation.I had to take a dump at least 6 times during the night.I wanted to get some sleep but couldn't for most of the night.Each and every time I got comfortable in my bed and almost asleep,I had to get up and use the bathroom.It was horrible.Not only that,my anal region was starting to hurt due to all this defecating.Each and every time my anal region hurts,it is a vivid reminder of the rape that I endured when I was 16,which was where a man who lived in my neighborhood tried to shove his genitals up my rectum without the use of a condom.I still remember it each time I get that pain.It can be anything from a simple itch to a stabbing pain.The pain was unbearable for the length of time that I had to keep taking a dump.Plus,it was causing me great emotional stress and strain that I wound up masturbating,which made feel even more lousy.But after asking the creator for forgiveness,I felt better but I did not get to sleep until 3:45 a.m. in the morning.As a result of that,I only got five hours of sleep,which was why I felt lousy and a little bit at edge when I got out of bed this morning.I had to drink 3-4 cups of coffee to stay awake.I had to be awake because I had an appointment today at the hospital with the medication manager over at the local hospital.I had to drive there and I did not want to fall asleep behind the wheel while driving there.
My session with the medication manager went great.We talked about a lot of things and how some of the people around the social club react to me when I share my knowledge and how my life has been going.I am the victim at times of some of the social club member's rants and taunts regarding my knowledge and how far I have come within the agency,especially working within the agency.Again,the session went great and I also had to renew an appointment that I accidentally forgot.It was an appointment with the hospital's in-house psychiatrist.I have a new appointment and I am going to mark it down on the calender so I don't forget it this time.
After the session,I went straight home and got back into bed to take a nap.It was a 2 hour one that I took to catch up on some lost sleep from last night.After the nap,I felt better and I also had a light dinner.
My anger management/conflict resolution group went great.I met a few new people and we shared a lot.I did share my experiences from the last few days and it was great to have them listen to me and to listen to what they had to say.I am looking forward to the next group meeting,which is next Monday night.
Overall,I had a wonderful holiday weekend.I feel refreshed and rejuvenated.Not only that,the Buffalo Sabres won again tonight.They defeated the Washington Capitols in Washington by a score of 3-1.The next game is a home game Wednesday night when the St.Louis Blues come to town.I hope that the Sabres can win another one.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day today and my night last night,including my hopes for the day ahead.FJ