Tonight,I am feeling okay but a little bit at edge.
The laundry pick-up went by smoothly and I even had a pretty good lunch period.But somehow my emotional stance changed midday.
When I got home,I was feeling cranky with me feeling angry over something.For most of the day,everything went terrifically well until the lunch period.
After I ate my lunch,I was waiting to use the social club computer.There was another person on it but they were taking too long.The social club has a 1/2 hour time limit when someone uses the computer.I was waiting to register some bills at Where's George but the person using the computer went nearly 12 minutes over their time and I was feeling angry as a result.Instead of losing my temper,which I was on the verge of,I went to the social club coordinator and told him about it.He took care of it by pointing out to the person that they had gone over their time and that there was someone else waiting to use the computer.The person did get off but in anger.Apparently,she didn't like being corrected when she was wrong but in a way,that is how people remember to do the right thing the next time.Take it from me,admittedly,I don't like it either.But it is the best way that we improve ourselves so we at least can try to avoid making that same mistake again.The only good thing out of it is that I got the bills registered at Where's George and after I was finished,I left for home.
When I got home,I felt tired because I didn't get an awful lot of sleep last night.Coupled with that incident at the social club and the way I felt due to a lack of sleep,I tried to take a nap and while I slept well for over an hour,I wound up masturbating to fantasies of having sexual activity with another man.I felt lousy afterwards and after I asked for forgiveness,I did feel better but the guilt is still looming over me.I want to feel good but the guilt at times can be overwhelming.If anyone here can help me deal with these feelings of guilt,I would appreciate any answers.Thanks.
Before I had dinner,I went out to pick up a pack of light bulbs for my mom.One of her light bulbs blew and she needed a new one pretty fast.I went out and get them and I ate afterwards.
After eating,I decided to catch up on some much needed computer work.I also went to check on a couple of money orders that I sent out on Monday and they arrived safely.I feel good that they did.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.I am also starting a new group tomorrow night and it is a sex addicts group.I am hoping that the first meting goes well and that I can continue going if it does.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ