Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went by smoothly.I simply did what I had to do in the short period of time that I had.After my work was done,I had lunch and I bagged evereything that was clean and I dropped it off at the rehab center.After that,I went home.
When I got there,I had to go to the bank to withdraw some money for my mom and I also did a little bit of shopping for her.After that was done,I headed straight home and I stayed there for the rest of the day.I was thinking of going to the sexual addiction support group meeting but I changed my mind.I had an attack of diarrhea tonight and even after I had taken medicine for it,I had two more attacks.But after the third attack,I did not take any more medicine because I didn't want to wind up with constipation.
When I got home from shopping,I chose to take a nap,which was for only 1/2 an hour.After that,I decided to finish my personal PC work and I had dinner afterwards.
After eating,I registered some money at the Where's George site and I also visited the IMDB for a while.I was looking up some info on the 1986 Sci-Fi/Action film The Wraith,which starred Charlie Sheen in the title role.I do have this on VHS.I also did some catching up on my personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Despite having some pretty good day over this period,I am under a lot of stress.The roofers have not started yet on the roof and my mind has been drifting back and forth into my past.I have been getting tempted to act out on my desires for quite a while and I have been talking to myself pretending that there are people asking me to perform a sexual act on them and me agreeing to perform it.Last night,I did say a long but heartfelt prayer to the creator asking him for help and guidance for removing these things from my head and to help me keep my mind clear.Don't worry anyone out there,I have not acted out nor so I plan to act out.I just need some prayers to help me keep my strength to resist temptation and to avoid sinning seriously.I also have to keep in mind that acting out sexually is NOT going to fulfill the basic needs that I need to have fulfilled.I will only get the feeling that I am fulfilled but once that feeling is gone,I will still feel as empty as I was before the acting out.I have to keep track of my mind and when the temptation comes,pray about it until it goes away and then change my frame of mind and do something else.
Admittedly,I have also watched some Gay themed pornography as well.I have not watched any tonight but I have watched it and I am hoping not to fall again.Likewise,Gay porn will also NOT fulfill my basic needs,either.I also have to keep that in mind.Please pray that I will remain strong and that the creator will help keep me strong to resist temptations.
I am now relaxing and taking it easy.I am hoping that the next few days will go smoothly.
Tomorrow is another work day and I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,it's the weekend.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ