Tonight,I am feeling a little bit better.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly.I simply did what I had to do in the amount of time that I had and when I was finished,I simply dropped off the clean laundry at the rehab center and I headed for home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a bit and took it easy while my mom was getting ready to go to an eye doctor's office to have her eyes checked out.When she left,I proceeded to go on my computer and do some more personal PC work.Since my mom was going to be gone for most of the afternoon,I decided to use the quiet time the best way that I knew how by working on the computer.My sister,who lives locally,took our mom to the eye doctor's office.
When she got home later in the day,she told me the news that she has to have surgery on her eyes in the Fall of this year and I am hoping that the surgery,though it is two months away,goes well.My mom has been lamenting on her eye condition for quite some time and she is relieved that the doctor can work with her eyes and fix them so she will see better.I am also hoping that this can be so as well.
Today,the situation that I am currently going through didn't affect me as much as it has been.I am still feeling the frustration of waiting for the "prior authorization" to come from the insurance company and I can get the medicine that I need so I can start to function and feel better.I am also still feeling hopeful that this can be resolved soon.As stated,I am still feeling the frustration of this whole insurance hassle and I am hoping that the situation can be resolved.This whole thing has really been a chore on my struggles with depression and SSA that I am feeling the temptation to do things that are wrong.But I am resisting the temptation and I am feeling better as a result of this avoidance.
After eating,I once again watched the evening news for a while and I decided to post my day on here.Overall,a pretty good day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,as stated,I am having the temptation to watch pornography but I am not going to watch it.I am just going to choose to view something else online rather than porn.The temptation is still going to remain with me even if I don't watch any pornography but I know that I can make a choice not to view it.In the past,watching porn was a "false coping mechanism" when I felt that there wasn't anything that I can do or watch.But today,with me a little bit wiser,I can now say NO to pornography and NO to acting out.Still,I need to take this as a "One Day at a Time" thing.If I can get through one day or moment without giving into any temptation,Good.There is always tomorrow and the day after that and so on.But as stated,I have chosen not to watch any pornography and I am going to continue battling this temptation every time it comes around.I am glad that I have a choice and that is one of the best things about being human.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ