Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up real quickly and I headed out to church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.Though I had a terrible time getting out of my driveway to head for church,I made it out and I made it there all in one piece.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few boxes of hot chocolate and a couple bags of snacks.After paying for these,I headed straight home.
When I got home,though I had some difficulty getting into my driveway,I put the stuff that I bought away and I got out of my suit and into a sweatsuit.I also did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed and watched a couple of DVD's that I popped into the DVD player.After these were over,I did a little more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched a few holiday themed DVD's and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia and the terrible SSA.The SSA struggle is made even more difficult with the BPD/Schizophrenia.I hear things and sounds that nobody else hears,such as footsteps and voices calling out my name or trying to get me to say other things.Early this afternoon,I again gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals when sexual images of men clouded my mind,but again,I was fortunate that I stopped myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ for sinning.While I did feel better after that,I am still working on trying to get tough with myself to stop this cycle of habitually sinning.I don't want to fall into a trap of sinning constantly against my Heavenly Father and keep asking for forgiveness for doing so.This is a trap that I am trying to avoid falling into and I know that at the moment,I am not doing a very good job of that.I really need to buckle down and start relying more on my Heavenly Father to give me the strength to fight and resist these terrible and overwhelming urges.I am really serious about wanting to heal from this terrible SSA and I want to stop doing this unclean practice of genital manipulation while sexual images of men creep up into my mind.If anyone has any ideas and/or advice on how I can stop this particular practice,please share it in the comments section,especially if it is Holy Bible based.I am open to try anything to stop this unclean and impure practice.I am also again asking that y'all who follow my blog and read the posts to please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement.My log gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.A nice encouraging post in the comments section by a fellow blog follower would make my day.I need some positive verbal encouragement right now and prayers as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going out to do some shoveling of snow and to keep my car clean of snow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ