Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair and not too eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I chose to go out and shovel the walk for the mail people.Since my hometown was under a Winter Weather Advisory,I chose to simply stay home and take it easy.I watched a few holiday themed DVDs and I also did my personal PC work.I didn't do any showering or washing my hair as I didn't go anywhere today.
After eating a light meal,I watched a couple more holiday themed DVDs and I also did some more personal PC work.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair and not too eventful day.I still managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I actually gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of me that clouded my mind.I gave into the temptation to fantasize and lust after these images and I masturbated when the point of orgasm came.I felt really miserable after this and after washing my hands,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father and asked for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also begged for my Heavenly Father to be merciful to me because I fell and I also accepted full and total responsibility for my fall.I prayed hard and I left nothing out as I prayed.When I was finished praying,I felt better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.I really need to get tough with myself.I haven't been able to do that because I have had my mind on other things.I need to stop this habitual pattern of tripping,stumbling and falling and after that,going to repentance.I can't keep doing this stuff.I need to really start showing my Heavenly Father that I truly mean it that I want to overcome this terrible SSA and also want to heal from it.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to pray for me.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.I also need it now as a result of my terrible fall today.Please continue to pray for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks to all of you for your continues support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
As for tomorrow,I haven't got any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ