Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today.I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I washed my hair over the sink and when I was finished with that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I went outside to shovel the sidewalk for the mail people and I also shoveled the end of my driveway.After that was done,I quickly did my personal PC work and when that was finished,I went back outside to shovel my driveway and to also shovel the end of the driveway after the city snow plows plowed more snow from the street onto it.After that was done,I went back inside the house to relax for a bit as I was exhausted from all the shoveling,but it was worth it and also,good exercise.
After eating,I decided to relax and watch a few classic TV episodes on DVD.After that,I decided to do some more personal PC work.I stayed home for much of the day due to the weather and since my car was stuck in the driveway until I shoveled it,I had no place to go and also,I wanted to give the city some time to clean the streets by plowing and salting the roads.Still,I kept busy doing what I had to do.Later on,as it was getting late,I decided to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
Tonight,I have to confess.I sinned today and I felt pretty miserable after it happened.Upon arising,I sat down in a chair and sexual images of men clouded my mind and I gave into the temptation to fantasize and lust after them by manipulating my genitals and I made myself ejaculate while doing so.After cleaning my hands off,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me and to be merciful to me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed hard and I left nothing out.I admitted everything to my Heavenly Father and begged and pleaded for him to be merciful towards me.When I was finished praying,I felt much better and very relieved.I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.As I am about to make the big step in my life in regards to therapy,I still need to get tough with myself.I can't keep giving into these terrible urges if I want to heal from and overcome SSA.I need to stop giving into these terrible urges.I am hoping that the big step that I am making in therapy will help me get out of this and hopefully,help me break free from these obsessive thoughts and this obsession that I have in regards to men.Fellow blog followers and readers,I need your prayers right now more than ever.I also still need your positive verbal support in the comments section.Please support me as I am still going through a very difficult time.I need to finally start to let go of the unresolved issues that I have that have been holding me back from the real healing that I need to discover and finally feel so I can finally heal from and overcome this terrible SSA.Please continue to pray for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to y'all for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual on Sunday,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the upcoming weekend ahead.FJ