Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a very exciting day today as I was going about my business.Today was a Buffalo Sabres game against the New York Rangers at Madison Square Garden.It was Game 6 in the conference semi-finals and with the Sabres leading 3 games to 2 in the series,they had the controlling lead.A lot was riding on this game because one team could win and eliminate the other or one team could win to force a Game 7.The odds were 1,000,000 to 1 against the Sabres going into today's game.Why?Because in this series,the Rangers won two consecutive games at Madison Square Garden.But today,those odds faded into obscurity as the Sabres emerged victorious to win the series by a score 0f 5-4.The Sabres really played their second best in this series this year against the Rangers even though the Rangers were really pouring on the pressure.But again,the Sabres emerged victorious today to eliminate the New York Rangers and advance to the conference finals against another tough team,the Ottawa Senators.This match-up is a rematch against the two teams from last season with the only difference being that it was the conference semi-finals last season and this season,it's the conference finals.But again,I am hoping that the Sabres can also eliminate the Senators.I do not how many games it will take but I hope that the Sabres can do it again against the Senators.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd was another big success.I tried out a new song and it went over pretty well.I even reaquainted myself with a few songs that I had not done in a while.Again,the night was a success.It made me happy to entertain the crowd and it also made me feel good that the enjoyed every minute of it.
But the night was also a real challenge to my healing of unwanted SSA.An old school mate of mine who I had not seen in a long time and whom that I graduated with,came into the place last night.At first,I did not recognize her but when she came over to where I was sitting and she said Hello,I then recognized her.The challenge came when a male friend of her's who was with her came over to the table and on an invitation by another friend of mine,sat with us.She had told me that he was an openly Homosexual/Gay man.It made me feel very uncomfortable because here I am,a guy who is determined to heal from unwanted SSA desires towards members of my own gender and will do whatever it takes to do so,has an openly Gay man sitting next to me.Don't get me wrong,I have no hatred towards any man who has embraced Homosexuality nor do I condemn him for doing so.I use Jesus Christ's attitude of "Hate The Sin.Not The Sinner" regarding this.Still,it made me feel uncomfortable because he was open about who he was and I was a guy yearning to heal from these unwanted and inappropriate desires.At least,that is how I feel about the matter.But when he did sit next to me,I went into the men's restroom,locked the door and said a little prayer to God and asked for guidance and strength to deal with this situation and to help deliver me from any possible temptations that could happen.After doing so,I felt better and when I returned to sit down,the uncomfortableness was a lot easier to deal with.The best thing about it was that nothing happend.The guy did not lay a hand on me nor did he make a pass at me.While that did not happen and I was glad and relieved that nothing did,I had to keep on guard that anything can happen in a situation like this and it can be a real test to my strength,endurance and determination to overcome SSA and emerge as the Heterosexual man that I truly want to be.I have left the Gay lifestyle behind and I am no longer into that.It is not what I am all about as a man nor as a person.Nor is it who I am all about as a man nor as a person.I am still determined to heal from these unwanted desires towards other men and want to feel total sexual attraction towards women.Right now,my attraction towards the opposite is slowly developing and that is good.The worst part of it was that I had to be careful in what I had said in conversation because anything I might have said could have had an impact on the night and I did not want to think about it.So,I kept my mind focused and used caution in my words.Again,the night was a success but it also was a challenge to my determination to heal from and overcome unwanted SSA.I am not going to let nothing stand in my way of that goal.
Tomorrow is my day off from work.I do have to do a few personal things tomorrow for myself to make the day seem wonderful.Again,I am overjoyed that the Sabres are advancing into the conference finals and I am hoping that the Sabres can do it again.
That was my day today,my night last night and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ