Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too eventful day today.The work shift went by smoothly.I did not have any mess to pick up at the pick-up place and that was good.I simply picked up the one bag they had and took it to the work site.I did not do too much.I simply did what I had to do and the time went by fast.After I dropped off the laundry,I simply went home afterwards because my mom was planning to go grocery shopping initially but when I got home,she was not feeling well and said that we could do that tomorrow.I said okay and I took it easy.I relaxed for much of the afternoon because it looked like that it was going to rain as I was driving home and I did not go out and do anything due to the possibility of rain.The only things that came down were a few droplets and that was it.But just in case it was going to do that,I stayed home and relaxed.
I was feeling a little at edge this afternoon.As I was laying down on my bed ,I had a strong urge to masturbate.Images of men in the nude demanding favors from me were also coming back.I tried tossing and turning but the images never left.The only thing that broke it was when I got a phone call from a doctor's office.I was relieved when that happened because I probably would have masturbated if that did not happen.Thank goodness for that phone call.
I have been feeling at edge ever since the death of the member of my support group at the church.I am still feeling the effects of his death.I have really been at edge and I have been feeling angry because he did not have to go.He was taken away from us too early.I still feel his absence and I am missing him terribly.Again,he was taken away too soon.He was at the meeting about two weeks ago and now,he was taken away so suddenly.He was also in the process of reconciling with his family when this happened.I am hoping that I get over this soon.He was like a partner in healing with me at these group meetings.I still find it hard to believe that he's gone.
Tomorow is my first Friday off in a long time.I only have to do a pick-up for the Monday people and I am free for the rest of the day.There is a staff picnic and I have chosen to help my mom with her grocery shopping tomorrow.After I cash my paycheck,I am taking my mom to do her shopping.I am getting an early start to my weekend.I will be doing my usual singing for the crowd on Saturday night.I can hardly wait for that.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ