Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
The work shift went well.I didn't have to much to do.After it was finished,I dropped everything off and I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at my regular bank and cashed my paycheck.I also withdrew some money for my mechanic to add to what I already owe him for the week and I headed for home after that.
When I got there,I waited for dinner to get ready.It was to be a light dinner of chicken and vegetables and it was pretty filling.After eating,I decided to finish my personal PC work and I also did some browsing for a while online.
I also had a short talk with my mechanic regarding the problems that I am having trying to start my 4X4.He simply told me to bring it in on Monday and he will check it out.I am hoping that it is nothing major where it will cost me even more money.
The day went pretty well.There is really nothing negative to talk about.
The only thing is that I am feeling really depressed.Yes I am.I have been feeling this way for the whole day.Don't get me wrong,I am feeling better because I have my 4X4 back on the road and I am driving.I am also looking forward to going out tomorrow night for the first time in a long time.But I am feeling sad and depressed.I don't know what it could be.I think that it has something to do with the SSA that I am still working on overcoming.I haven't had anothing sexual with a man in a long time and while I am feeling better because of me not acting out,I am also feeling the negative side of it.I do miss acting out on my desires but I do have to keep one thing in mind.I have to keep remembering that acting out sexually with another man is NOT nor will NEVER fulfill my same-sex needs.It is also NOT going to fill the emptiness that I feel.Sexual activity will only give me a temporary "FIX" that will wear off in time and I am back to the same old empty feeling that I had prior to the acting out.I need prayers really bad.If anyone out there can say a prayer for me.Please do so.Thanks.
I am glad that the weekend is finally here.I am looking forward to my comeback to singing on Saturday nights starting tomorrow night.I am hoping that the night goes well for me.
As for the rest of the weekend,I have not made any plans but whatever I do,I am hoping that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ