Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.I had a pretty not too cool of a day today.
Today,I fell short.I wound up masturbating.I played with my genitals and then at the moment of orgasm,I masturbated until ejaculation.I felt miserable after that.I went for a long time without masturbating until now.
I think that I know why I gave in.I was having a little bit of emotional turmoil that happened during the week.One day this week,I was accused of being a KGB member by some guy who just looked at me and said "Here Comes The KGB,Now."I did feel angry and I had a brief episode of SSA that day but I managed to get through it.Today,not so much.I guess I was still feeling a little at edge over that whole thing and that is probably why I gave in.I did ask for forgiveness and I felt better after that.I have to continue working on my emotional issues and continue to work on controlling my anger.I haven't lost my temper in quite a while and I don't want to do so.I have been doing well in controlling it but I know that I can crack at anytime.I will just have to be careful in how I express my anger or any powerful emotions.
After that,I did a scan on my computer while running a few errands.I also managed to stop in on a friend who was admitted to a local hospital when he injured his ankle again.He was home and said that he was still in pain but feeling hopeful.I left for home.
After getting home,I took a bath and I had a light dinner of homemade chicken noodle soup.After eating,I finished my personal PC work.I had to put it on hold while I was doing a scan on my computer.But I felt that it had to be done.
Tonight is my night to entertain the crowd.I am going to be singing up a storm.I am hoping that the evening goes well.Though I rarely have an off night,I still hope for things to get well.You never know what could happen.I do have the feeling that everything will go right.Still,I hope.
I am hoping I can get through tomorrow unscathed.After today,I really need to get a better grip on my issues and work harder to control the urges.
As for the rest of the weekend,I have no plans but whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the rest of the weekend ahead.FJ