Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had a cup of coffee.I also had to shower quickly because I was meeting my job placement counselor/coach at the agency and I had to hurry.After my quick shower,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed up in dress clothes quickly and I headed over to the agency so my job placement counselor/coach could analyze the application and tell me whether it is ready or not.When she said that it was ready,I dated the application and after attaching my resume and her business card,I turned the application in.After that,I headed straight home after I picked up another job application on the way.
When I got home,I got out of my dress clothes and into a sweatsuit.I had a light lunch and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.After it was over,I did a little bit more PC work and started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and I also enjoyed a little music while doing so.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.Though it does,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult struggle of the two.Today,I was overwhelmed by temptations after two straight days of none.I was tempted to fantasize and lust after other men,which also led to being tempted to touch myself inappropriately by manipulating my genitals.Fortunately for me,the temptations did die down and I had to take the initiative to try and replace the sexual thoughts that the evil spirits were feeding my brain and tempting me.I decided to simply lay down and read a little bit and the temptations died down.I am hoping that I don't get overwhelmed by temptations for a long time.I have more than enough stress in my life and having to deal and endure temptations to act out on the unnatural sexual desires that I have makes my life even more stressful.I don't have very much here in my hometown in regards to getting help with SSA and wanting to heal from and overcome it.Right now,they are still trying to find a new priest to take over the local Courage ministry and I have to check back near the end of the month to see if they found a new priest to take over.I am hoping that they do because I need to get back into this.I need to find men who understand what I am going through in my area so I can get some support,including acceptance of myself as I am by these other men and also,the affirmations that I desperately need.Right now,my only source of that type of support is Celebrate Recovery and the retired pastor who has been serving as my Christian counselor for the past several months.I do have my usual mental health therapy,but I refuse to talk about my struggles with SSA with them.Why?Because those in the mental health profession in the USA usually encourage those with SSA desires to embrace the so called "Homosexual/Gay" identity and live their lives in sinfulness by indulging in sinful sexual activity with members of their own gender,even though there are many,including myself,don't want to do that at all.So,I keep it from them and share my SSA struggles only with the right people.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,I would really appreciate that you all would leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to y'all for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my evening Celebrate Recovery group,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ