Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the near mid morning as I overslept and I hurried to get ready for church.I washed my hair and face over the sink,alongside shaving and I hurriedly got dressed up in a suit as I only had time to drink my usual 2 cups of coffee.After I was finished dressing up,I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Sears to pay a bill and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed from my church suit into my sweatsuit.I quickly did my personal PC work and I relaxed for much of the afternoon.Later on,I changed into casual clothes and I went to a local bargain supermarket to pick up a few needed things.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few more things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and as it was getting late,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.Though it does,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I must confess that I gave into temptation today.I gave into the temptations to fantasize and lust after other men and also,the temptation to manipulate my genitals to the sexual images of men that clouded my mind,which led to the other temptations to fantasize and lust.After I washed my hands,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father and asked him for his forgiveness and for his mercy in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I felt truly miserable after this and I was also saddened by this fall.While praying for my Heavenly Father's forgiveness,I accepted full and total responsibility for my fall into sin and I pleaded repeatedly for my Heavenly Father's forgiveness and mercy.After I was finished,I felt better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.I went on with the rest of the day.I really need to start getting tough with myself.I have to stop myself from falling back into the pattern/trap of falling and repenting.I need to stop myself whenever these terrible temptations come around.I want to think pure and holy thoughts of my fellow man,not lustful and sensuous thoughts of them as thinking of men in that way is selfish and only gratifies not only the sin of the sexual activity between two members of the same gender but also the wrongful things associated with this terrible SSA.I need to really get serious with myself about wanting to overcome this terrible SSA and wanting to heal and become the man that I am meant to be.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers.I really need your prayers right now.I would appreciate some also much needed positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.I want to be the whole man that my Heavenly Father wants and intends me to be,but I need to work on getting tough with myself in this regard.I can't keep falling into sin and repenting as that will never get me out of this SSA trap,but will only keep me in it.Please continue to pray for me and also,please leave me some much needed positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to y'all for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of getting a much needed oil change and to have a possible coolant leak checked out with my car,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ