Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of my day.
I had a spirituality group that I needed to attend.This is a weekly group where we we read a passage from the Holy Bible and discuss the passage.
The group was wonderful.I got a lot out of it.After the group was over,I headed over to a local community kitchen to have lunch.After eating,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things that my mom needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery improves soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation late last night by masturbating.I really felt terrible afterwards.I really want to heal from this unwanted SSA,but masturbation won't get me anywhere near what I want to do.I want to overcome and heal from unwanted SSA and I really don't want to masturbate nor act out in other ways anymore.Masturbation will never connect me to my lost maleness nor will it ever give me what I really need and want,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with it.I am still determined to heal from this and I will do whatever it takes to heal from this.I really need to stay on guard and be watchful.I also need to work on staying strong and try to resist the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form.I am still open to any suggestions or advice.Thanks.
Tomorrow,I have another appointment with the pastor over at the church that I have been attending since September.I hope that it goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ