Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I had a few things planned for today and I wanted to get them done.
I finally got out to that Salvation Army thrift store in the next county that I have been hoping to get out to.When I got there,I looked around and found a few nice things.After paying for what I had found there,I headed for home.
On the way home,when I got back into the city,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of important things.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue feeling better soon as I am still hanging onto the hope that my recovery will start to improve soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours by masturbating.It really brought me down as I was doing good for a while since my last fall,but this time,I fell again.I really felt lousy afterwards as I knew that masturbation is an unclean and dirty habit that will never connect me to the lost maleness that I am hoping to connect to.I have to continually keep in mind that acting out in any way,shape or form will never get me what I want nor will it ever fulfill any of my much needed needs.I need affirmation of my gender identity and I want to have the feelings of authenticity that go along with that affirmation.Acting out in any way,shape or form will never fulfill the deep need that I really need to have fulfilled.If anyone can help,please offer what has worked for you and I will try to use it the best way that I know how.
Tomorrow,I am hoping and planning to attend the morning's church service and the morning Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before it.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ