Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I relaxed for much of the day and did a little bit of cleaning up here and there.After much of that,I got dressed and headed over to my sister's house for a birthday party where one of my family members was celebrating.
The party was wonderful.I had a pretty good time with my family and celebrating.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did some more personal PC work and I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I fell into sin by giving into temptation to fantasize and lust after other when sexual images of men clouded my mind and I also manipulated my genitals to these images and when I was at the point of orgasm,I masturbated the rest of the way.I really felt miserable and ashamed of myself for this and I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked him for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed hard and I left nothing out.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my fall into sin and asked for forgiveness.I prayed real hard and when I was finished,I felt better as I believed that I was forgiven and that the slate was wiped clean.I really felt terrible after this fall.I really want to heal from and overcome this terrible SSA.I am having a very difficult time as it is trying to do so.With things happening in the news with certain churches allowing "Gay" marriages and couplings and others ordaining "Gay" bishops and the anger and sadness that I feel as a result if these things happening.All of these things actually contributed to my fall into sin and it also depressed me.I am struggling with SSA and I want to do what is right in the eyes of my Heavenly Father,but these things happening is really making it difficult for me to live.The world around is actually becoming secular in it's approach and those so called "Christian Churches" are just going with the flow rather than accept the truth and do what is right in the eyes of the sovereign Lord and creator of the world and the universe,our Heavenly Father.Our culture is getting even more warped by the day and it's disgusting.Fellow blog followers and readers,I am again appealing to y'all to please keep me in your prayers.I also ask that y'all leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both of these supports right now and also,every day after today.Please continue praying for me.I also ask that you please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I really need your support right now as I am going through a very difficult emotional time right now.I need to continue fighting this terrible SSA and your support,both by prayers and verbal encouragement,really matters to me.They both help keep me going.They also help me to stay the course and make me even more determined and motivated to continue on and continue to hope for healing and affirmation.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual in the morning,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ