Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I postponed my shower to do some reduction in my e-mail accounts and after that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After some relaxation and doing my personal PC work,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I did some more personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I only made a couple of trips out today.I first went to get some gas and after that,went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a small thing.After that,I went to a local Dollar Tree store and bought another small thing there.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I headed over to my usual Thursday night Holy Bible study group,which went as wonderful as expected.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,after a few days of sobriety,I gave into temptation again.I manipulated my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind causing me to fantasize and lust after the images and I wound up ejaculating.After washing my hands,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father and asked him for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and left nothing out and I did feel better after that as I knew that I was forgiven.I went through the rest of the day with no problems.I have said it before and I will say it again,I need to really get tough with myself.I need to show these unnatural sexual desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.I need to also show to my Heavenly Father that I am very serious about wanting to heal from and overcome this terrible SSA,but habitually falling into sin is not the way to show him that.I really need to stop this spiral of sinning habitually and going in repentance to my Heavenly Father.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue praying for me.I also ask that you please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both your prayerful and positive verbal support right now.I am in a rut in regards to giving into sin habitually and going to my Heavenly Father in repentance and asking to be forgiven,which is something that I really need to stop and nip in the butt permanently.I need your prayers and your positive verbal support in the comments section.Please leave me some encouraging words in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going to work and hopefully,the Celebrate Recovery meeting,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ