Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I quickly washed my hair and shaved.After that,I got dressed up in dress clothes and I headed out to the job placement agency to meet with my job placement counselor/coach to go over a job application that I filled out over the weekend and after that,I signed it and left the agency to drop it off at a local restaurant.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my dress clothes and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed in casual clothes and I headed out to help a friend.After that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Salvation Army thrift store and I bought a few nice things.After that,I headed over to the drug store to pick up my prescription refill.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into sweatpants and did a little bit more personal PC work.I also started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and watch it.I also relaxed while doing so.I also did some more personal PC work.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.Though it does,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult struggle of the two.Right now,the only thing that I need to work on is how I can transcend the traumatic and abusive situations that I am currently struggling with now.The thing is that if I want to discover and get the real healing that I really need,I need to start learning how to get the issues resolved and start transcending from these experiences.I need to find the right help and therapy so I can start doing that.It is just that I don't want to keep on falling into sin by manipulating my genitals to any sexual images of men that cloud my mind,which leads to fantasizing and lusting after these images.I talked this over with someone that is one of those reparative or conversion therapists and they say that the reason could be that I have some unresolved anger and trauma issues from my childhood and that is the reason why I keep doing this sort of thing repeatedly.If that is the reason,I simply need to see how I can get these issues finally resolved so I can let go,transcend and start moving on to become the man that my Heavenly Father wants and intends me to be.I really want that and I don't want to feel sexual feelings for men anymore.I hate that I have these disgusting and unnatural feelings and I do want to heal from them and also,I want to really overcome this terrible SSA and start being the man I am meant to be.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue your prayers for me as I still really need them.I also still need your positive verbal support as much as your prayerful support.Thanks in advance for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of helping a friend out with something,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ