Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda for today.I first went to pick up my paycheck from work and after that,I headed out to the post office to mail out a money order.After that,I headed for a local supermarket to pick up a gallon of milk.After that,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something that I needed.After that,I got some gas at a local gas station.I also cashed my paycheck as well.After all of these things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put everything that I bought away and I enjoyed a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.After it was over,I did some more personal PC work.After that was done,I headed back out to get myself another sandwich from Subway.I headed straight home to eat it.When I was finished eating it,I relaxed as I wasn't feeling too well to go anywhere.My head was hurting me and I was also feeling some pains in my legs.I just laid down and read and prepared for my evening retirement as I had to get up early tomorrow morning and head for work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.Though it continues to do so,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,with the latter being the most difficult struggle of the two.Tonight,I was at home much of the time as evening came.In the mid evening,I went into my room and I sat down on the edge of my bed.I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I first confessed sins to him that I committed today when I gave into temptation.After that,I unloaded all of the unresolved anger,resentment and trauma issues that were in my life and that contributed to why I was struggling with SSA and everything connected with it.It may also be the reason why I have been giving into these terrible temptations that have been overwhelming me as of late.Yes,temptations have been overwhelming me lately and they have been piling on me one after the other.I unloaded everything and asked him for strength to help me let go of all of these negative things and also to help me develop a very forgiving heart as well.My anger and resentment has been towards my father,my locally living sister,my other sister who lives out of town,the man that she was involved with who hurt her and myself physically,the bullies in school that called me names and constantly harassed me,the teachers and administrators that did nothing to stop the bullying by the bullies and inadvertently letting these bullies walk over them as if they,the bullies,were truly running the school and they were simply getting paid by the school district to simply sit down and do nothing to stop the bullying and the harassment.It was also towards those who sexual abused me for their pleasure,including the incidents that happened to me at 10 years of age and 16 years of age and all the other members of my own gender who used and abused me for their own pleasure.Last but not least,to the boys who chased me into the path of two cars that hit me when I was 17 years old.I also had anger and resentment towards the religious cult that I followed for two brief years,especially those who made up phony stories about me although I was innocent of the things that they said about me.I threw everything on my Heavenly Father and while doing so,tears did start to come out of my eyes,though it didn't lead to full blown crying.I prayed for I don't know how long as I wasn't concentrating on the time as I was.But when I was finished,I felt a lot better as again,I felt that a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.I also asked that my Heavenly Father help point me in the right direction to help me in letting go of these things so I can not only transcend,but also start finally discovering real healing and also,overcoming this terrible SSA.Last week,I did have a talk with my pastor about these things and he said that he would like for us to schedule a talk that we can have to discuss these things.We haven't set up anything yet,but I will be meeting with him Sunday morning to do so.I hope that this is a true start to transcending and finally,healing from and overcoming this terrible SSA.Also,I prayed that my Heavenly Father forgive me for not letting him in those times that I stumbled and fell and for not letting him in when I should have.I confessed that leaving him out and not letting him in was wrong and again,asked that he forgave me for that sin.I am now hoping that this is the true as well as a new and fresh start.I want to start transcending now and start the real process of healing from and overcoming this terrible SSA.Fellow blog followers and readers,I still need your prayerful support and your positive verbal support.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I would appreciate these things very much.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I will be working and earning a little bit of money.After that,I don't know what else I might do.But I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ