Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.

Today was a day to go to church.I went to church and both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service were wonderful.Though they were,we did have a couple of men who had to be taken to the hospital,which was the only setback.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed straight home.

When I got home,I did some much needed cleaning work in the house and when that was finished,I quickly did my personal PC work.When that was finished,I went out to a local Denny's for lunch and did some shopping at a few stores.I headed straight home when I was done.

When I got home,I did some more cleaning up and I ate my evening meal.I also did some more personal PC work.I relaxed for the rest of the evening and did some more PC work before preparing to retire for the evening.A wonderful and eventful day overall.

In my last post,I shared that I was sexually abused by other guys,including a rape episode that happened to me when I was 16 years old.This was sexual abuse in a physical and psychological sense.It messed me up and confused me as to what it was.To put it a better way,I was brainwashed by the sexual abuse and that is where the confusion and messing me up was instigated.I learned the hard way that sexual abuse can be the ultimate brainwash as it can make you think and feel some thing(s) that isn't/aren't legit.It made me think that I was "Homosexual/Gay" and that is what my purpose in the world was,but I later learned that it was wrong and that the acts themselves were wrong.Good thing I woke up and started to distance myself from that terrible and destructive life before I wound up with something that I wouldn't want.

Now,I want to share another type of sexual abuse that I endured.It was verbal sexual abuse.I was called very sexist type names when I was growing up.Most of these was when I wouldn't give people what they wanted in a sexual sense.No,it wasn't refusing to give them sexual favors,but there were a few of those that did happen.I was called names like "faggot", "Homo", "dickhead",(reference to oral sex), "fag whore", "fag slut" and "male bitch" as a result of my refusal to fool around with sexual stuff when I was studying the bible with a religious group that turned out to be nothing more than a cult.They taught me man-made doctrines and twisted Holy Bible scripture around to emotionally manipulate and brainwash me into believing that they were "THE only true Christian congregation/organization on Earth." I suffered verbal sexual abuse repeatedly during my life growing up and into adulthood and I never heard the end of it.At one time,I was disowned by a friend all because I refused to indulge in sinful activity with a prostitute,although this so called "Friend" was footing the bill.This only made this worse as the name calling continued and that I was rejected as a result of this guy not getting what he wanted from me.These things still plague my mentality and I would like for that not to anymore.I don't know how to go about stopping these things from plaguing my mind.If anyone can offer any advice,please share in the comments section.I also still need both prayerful and positive verbal support as well.Thanks to all of you and Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.

Tomorrow is the start of another work week.I hope that the day goes well.FJ