Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.

Today,I woke up and had coffee and washed up.I then dressed up in a suit and headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.

Both the class and the worship service were wonderful as always.I also read from the Holy Bible in front of the congregation today.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.

On the way home,I stopped at a local McDonald's for a quick bite to eat.After that,I headed straight home.

When I got home,I changed from my suit into casual clothes.I quickly did my personal PC work and decided to go out and get a few slices of pizza for lunch.After eating them,I went shopping at a local supermarket and picked up several groceries.After that,I headed straight home.

When I got home,I put the groceries that I bought away and did some cleaning up around the house.After that,I relaxed and did some more personal PC work.I also had a light evening meal and did some more PC work.Later on,as it was getting late,I prepared for my evening retirement.A wonderful and eventful day overall.

Last night,I shared more about my emotional struggles,but I am still not getting any helpful advice from anyone.

I still have this intense anger and rage burning inside of me.I feel like a ticking bomb set to go off on impact.This anger and rage feels like a fire burning inside of me out of control.I just don't know what to do about these intense feelings burning within me.I still feel like I'm all alone at times,although I know that I'm not really alone.I also know that there are others who have the same struggles that I have and that they also have anger and rage issues as well.

However,there is one issue that I have kept hidden and that is the issue of trust.I am now admitting that I also have trust issues.Yes,I have issues with trust.

Why?

Because with my background as someone who has been used,abused in various ways and was the victim of bullying,I feel that there are certain people that I can't trust at all.Plus,with my religious background as following a cult for a short time in my early 20's,I was taught that those who were outside the cult couldn't be trusted.I was also the victim of relentless peer pressure to indulge in things that I wasn't comfortable with and when I wouldn't comply,I was called names and insulted.I was also made to look bad in front of others all because these people weren't getting their way with me.Like this one so called friend,he was a very promiscuous young man and when I refused to indulge in anything that he did,he made me the object of ridicule and wouldn't take me seriously as a person when I refused to do so.This affected the way that I trusted others and were contributors to my issues with trust.I was always afraid that he would try to set me up for a situation that I wouldn't have been able to escape from right away and that is why I put up a front that wasn't really me,which caused even further friction between him and I.Not only that,this particular guy was a narcissist.He always talked about himself.He would always brag about how much he was getting.How big he was and even rubbed my nose in his promiscuous lifestyle.I didn't bow down to his pressure nor did I follow him in his sexually active lifestyle mainly because I was afraid that I would turn out like him if I became promiscuous like he was.I didn't want to be like him as a result of his behavior and attitude and chose not to do so.There were also other young men that I knew that were the same way and that only made my issues with trust even worse.I still have issues with trusting others and I feel that this is hampering my healing and not getting me what I really need.

If anyone has any advice on how I can resolve these trust issues that I have,please share in the comments section.I need some helpful advice on how I can overcome and resolve these issues of trust that I have.I want to trust others,but feel trapped by the issues that I have with this particular area.Please help me.I need all the help that I can get.Thanks in advance for any help or advice offered.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.

Tomorrow is a work day.I hope that all goes well for me.FJ