Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.

Today,I woke up in the early morning and had my usual coffee.After my coffee,I washed up real quickly and got dressed.I headed for work.

The work day went well.After it was all over,I stopped at a local 7-11 for a small slurpee and headed straight home.

When I got home,I showered quickly and shaved.I then put my clothes back on and headed for a local church for a free dinner,which went well.After it was over,I headed for a gas station to get some gas and drove around for a bit.After that,I headed straight home.

When I got home,I realized that I forgot to do a couple of things,which I did once I got home and after they were done,I headed back home to change into pajamas and did my personal PC work.I also watched a few videos on YouTube and when it was time,I prepared to retire for the evening.A very good day overall.

Right now,as a result of all the hateful things that I have been saying under my breath to myself,I am actually at the point where I hate myself.I know that I shouldn't say this,but I can't help feeling the way that I feel.There has been so much negative family drama within my life and it's been getting worse.I'm feeling worse and worse by the day.It has been a crushing bind on me that I still don't know whether I'm coming or going.I feel like I'm stuck in the middle of the road.I don't know which way to go or what to do.I am still saying hateful things under my breath and I feel that I don't know how to stop.I do want to stop.I'm very serious about me wanting to stop this.I simply don't know how.All of the things in my life,such as the negative family drama,the clients at my work place always getting on my case and at times,getting very argumentative when it comes to the rules of the facility,feeling angry at a few family members who are a part of this family drama and even the anger that I still feel at my own father for his physical and emotional abuse of me and even the non-acknowledgement of my paternal grandmother.I have so much emotional baggage on my shoulders.It's really bringing me down and negatively overwhelming me.Not only has it been a crushing bind on me,but it has also been a crushing and heavy weight upon me,especially on my mind.I just want this terrible family drams to stop.I also want these hateful and nasty things that have been flooding my mind to go away and stay away.I want to stop saying these things.I want them to simply go away and never come back.

If anyone out there has any advice to offer,please share it within the comments section.I'm open to anything offered.I want to stop this and I also want these hateful and terrible things to stop flooding my mentality.

Please continue praying for me.I really need all the prayerful support that I can get.Please continue praying for me.As stated,I also need some positive verbal support that might/will help me stop saying these terrible things.Thanks for your support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.

Tomorrow is a work day.I hope that all goes well.FJ