Tonight,my road to recovery continues positively.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up and bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after I was finished with that,I got dressed and proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.I had some stuff planned and I wanted to get them done as we had a rain storm warning in effect.
I headed out to the Best Buy in the next county to specially order a couple of DVD sets.After that was done,I headed back home
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart again to buy something else.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a DVD.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues positively,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that I continue feeling better in the near and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,my temptation to act out today was minimal if nil at best.Admittedly,late last night,my temptation to act out on the desires was strong.I had to stop myself from trying to manipulate my genitals to get them erect or near erect for the purpose of masturbation and it was because of a same sex sexual fantasy that really clouded my mind.I had to stop myself from doing this as I had to remember that acting out in any way,shape or form will never get me what I want.I also have to keep in mind that masturbation,whether it is emotional,sexual or both,is a form of acting out without looking to find a male partner to act out with.I also have to keep in mind that watching Homosexual themed pornography is also a form of acting out without doing it for real with a male partner.Not only that,regarding pornography,I have to keep in mind that pornography is garbage.It is simply mental poison that gives people the wrong idea of sex.Sex is supposed to be a beautiful activity between two people,one man and one woman,and pornography simply makes it look like that sex is a dirty and unclean thing.when in reality,it is a beautiful thing.Plus,I also have to keep in mind that I am a male and I am biologically hard-wired to be sexually compatible with a female.I am only trying to follow the law of God in regards to this,but admittedly,I must say that it isn't an easy thing to do.I also have accepted the fact that I am a male and that I am a male for a reason as God made me a male.Likewise with trying to follow the law of God,accepting my gender identity was also a very difficult thing to do and I have also embraced my gender identity at the same and that is as far as I am going.I will not accept nor embrace anything else,such as the identity of Homosexuality,which in itself,is not the right way for a man to be.Each and every man in the eyes of God is a Heterosexual man as God intended for all of us to be.Not only that,each and every woman is a Heterosexual woman in the eyes of God for that same reason.God also does not condemn the Homosexual condition,but only the sexual activity associated with Homosexuality.I have to keep all of that in mind because I won't go anywhere if I don't.Still,regarding the resistance of temptations to act out in the future,I am still seeking advice and suggestions from my regular readers and followers regarding resisting temptations to act out in the near future.If anyone can help me here,I would really greatly appreciate that.Thanks.
As for tomorrow,I am planning to get my hair cut.As for the rest of the day,I haven't made any plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ