Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up later than I wanted to and bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of my day.
We were supposed to get snow today as we were under a "Lake Snow Watch" in my area last night,but I guess that it was cancelled overnight while I was sleeping as when I woke up,all that I heard was rain.I guess that the snow that we were supposed to get bypassed us and went somewhere else.I was relieved.I was actually worried on how was I going to get out of my driveway if we really got the snow that we were supposed to get.
Since the weather pattern changed,I simply decided to do some things.I had a few errands to run.I first went to the public library to print something out of my e-mail box and after that was done,I went to a couple of local stores to pick up some things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a DVD or two.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery will start improving soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted twice in the wee early morning hours.I had two morning erections this morning.When this happens,my cravings to masturbate are at an all time high.I simply tossed and turned until my penis softened and I fell asleep.A few hours later,I was awakened by another erection.I really had to fight this one as it was really hard and throbbing.I was taking deep breaths repeatedly and again,tossing and turning until my penis softened again.This morning was really a double whammy for me as I had to really fight the temptation to masturbate both these erections away.It was difficult,but I managed to escape.This really tells me that I still have to be on guard and be watchful as the temptation to masturbate can really rear it's ugly head.In the healing process from SSA,masturbation has a negative effect on the healing from those unwanted desires as it is a form of acting out without paying the price.Not only that,masturbation only reinforces the Homosexual identity in the case of men wanting to heal from unwanted SSA and change themselves from Homosexual to Heterosexual.Masturbation,in itself,is also a dirty and a very unclean habit.It is also very addicting as once a person starts to do that,they are hooked and it is like a person's sexuality owns them rather than they owning their sexuality.I just have to stay in the fight to abstain from this habit and to resist the temptation to act out in this way.I am still open to any suggestions.
As for the weekend,I haven't really made any plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ