Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did only 3/4 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
My father and I first went to the local Social Security office to try and straighten some things out and it took shorter than we anticipated.After that,we headed straight home.
When we got home,my father took a walk over to my sister's house and I decided to finish that 1/4 of my personal PC work.
After that was done,I went to get ready for my spirituality group.I was looking forward to this group with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.I headed over there hoping for it to be wonderful.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch.After eating,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to turn in a few empty cans and bottles.After that was done,I stopped over to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I simply relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my recovery continues onward,the rad is going to be rocky for a while as I am still learning how to cope without my mom being around.Her death was hard on the family,especially myself.My symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having it is going to be getting worse.I am going to experience mood changes and everything as I am trying to continue to hold on.I am just trying to hold my own and I must admit that it isn't easy.I will still never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.Plus,the schizophrenic tendencies that I have are also getting worse.But I am going to continue hanging in there and going the course of life.I will also continue going to my therapy sessions and I am going to continue taking my medication as directed.I am also going to continue to rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle with the double mental illness whammy that I have seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle and endure.I will continue talking about my struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too impossible to handle as I know that both God and Christ will be there to help.I simply talk about this with them and after that,I feel a tad better knowing that I am not alone in my struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation as it was very overwhelming.I really had the overwhelming desire to grab my genitals and masturbate,but I fought it,I started to sit up and as I did,the erection started to soften and I sat up for a while until my genitals were finally soft enough for me to lie down and go back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might take,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always in a constant fight against these unnatural desires that I have and at times,the war can be really difficult.I am always getting tempted to masturbate and watch porn or do both.It also adds some stress to my life as well.But again,I am still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever it seems to be getting too unbearable to handle.Whenever the temptations to act out come around,I simply throw the temptations on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.It is simply a matter of taking it to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ in prayer and talking about the temptation and asking them for help in sustaining me.If I ever do give into temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and after that,I feel better as I am forgiven and my sins are forgotten by God.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for all of their help.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ