Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had only a few things on my agenda for today.The main thing on my agenda was that I had an appointment with the nurse practitioner at the local hospital.I headed over there and when I got to the local hospital,I dropped off an employment application at the front desk and headed over to her office and waited for a while in the waiting room.
The session was great.After some talk and some check-up's,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something.After paying for what I had to get,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to lay down and relax as I had a terrible sinus headache.I took something for it and laid down for a while.I felt better after that and started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to do some more personal PC work and when that was done,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with BPD/Schizophrenia.Today,on that front,I was emotionally feeling a little bit better.I wasn't feeling as down and tired as I was yesterday,which was good.Today,the only thing was that I had a terrible sinus headache,which went away when I decided to lay down and relax.I did feel better after laying down and I decided to prepare my evening meal.In regards to my SSA struggles,which my struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia make even more difficult,I actually gave into temptation twice today by manipulating my genitals when sexual images of men clouded my mind.Once in the early morning while in bed and later on when I laid down again for my headache.On both occasions,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive my sins,which I asked for in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and while asking for his forgiveness,I also accepted full and total responsibility for my fall into sin.I did feel better after that on both of those occasions.I really need to be extremely tough on myself and stick to my resolve to overcome this terrible SSA.I can't let Satan and his minions have their way with me.They continually spread the lies that nobody who is Homosexual/Gay can change and that we are to simply lives our lives as the unnatural sexual desires want us to live.They also spread the lie that there is nothing wrong with any of the sexual activity connected with Homosexuality and that it is inborn,genetic and normal.The thing is that our Heavenly Father says,through his sacred word the Holy Bible,that Satan is the ultimate liar and the father of the lie.The Holy Bible condemns the sexual activity between two members of the same gender and in it's own way,it says that this particular sexual activity is unnatural,unclean,impure,immoral,unnatural and above all,just plain wrong.I am still working on making prayer a part of my daily life and I really need to pray to my Heavenly Father whenever these terrible temptations to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men keep coming around.I am still working on this.I am also again asking that y'all continue praying for me as I am going through this terrible and difficult emotional time.It is a very difficult emotional time for me.I need all the prayers that I can get.I also ask that y'all don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.They do help out in many ways.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of meeting my job placement counselor at the local Dept.of Labor,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ