Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning,but had a pounding headache.After I had a cup of coffee,I took something for it and went right back to bed and slept for a while.
After getting back up,I showered and I had my usual quick breakfast and another cup of coffee.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work and when that was done,I got dressed to go out and shovel the sidewalk for the mail-person so they can deliver the mail.It took about 15 minutes to do.Fortunately for my hometown,the Winter Storm Warning was discontinued so we didn't get the full brunt of snow like we were originally planned to get.I also cleaned off my car of snow and that took about five minutes.After all of my work was done,I went back into the house and changed back into a sweatsuit and I filled out a couple of paper job applications,which I will turn in on Monday afternoon.After that was done,I did some more personal PC work and when I finished that,I relaxed and popped a movie into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I decided to watch another movie that I popped into the DVD player and relaxed while watching it.After that,I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD/Schizophrenia.It is a very difficult thing to struggle with and at times,I wished that I didn't to do so.I hear things that nobody else hears at times or my moods and/or emotions fluctuate when least expected.It can be pretty monotonous at times.It can also be draining and exhausting both emotionally and mentally.If having this psychiatric double whammy wasn't bad enough,I also have SSA struggles alongside that,which are made even more difficult by this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.I have so much on my plate mentally that I can't stand it at times.Today,I gave into temptation twice.The first was that I again manipulated my genitals while still in bed as I was about to rise and later,I looked up sexual images of men online.I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ for falling short today at those two separate intervals as I really felt miserable and was also sorry for falling into sin.I feel like a terrible basket case at times when I sin by giving into temptation.It is just that I don't want to fall back into the trap of habitual sin and keep asking for forgiveness for my sins after I fall each time.I know that I am not perfect and my Heavenly Father also knows that,but I can't use human imperfection as an excuse to habitually sin.I am still working on getting tough with myself as I know that nothing happens overnight.I need to start praying regularly whenever temptation rears it's ugly head and ask for strength to help me fight and resist all sorts of temptations.I really need to do that.I need to show these unnatural desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.I need to show them that they don't define me in any way.I also need to show them that I won't let them dictate to me how I will act,live and behave.Fellow blog followers,I need prayers right now more than ever.I also need some words of positive verbal encouragement.I really need both of these things to stay on the road to overcome and heal and to also keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.Please continue praying for me and also leave me some words of positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow is the Thanksgiving holiday.I will be having dinner with my family and will also spend time with friends who live here in my hometown.When I got home,I will just relax and take it easy for a spell while preparing my evening retirement.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the holiday ahead.FJ