Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work.Since there was a possibility for rain today,which never came to pass,I stayed home to catch up on some much needed work that I had to do and when I was finished with that,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player to watch it.After that was over,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I relaxed and enjoyed some music and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,while still in bed,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals and sexual images of men clouded my mind.Yes,I fantasized and lusted after those images.Fortunately,I was able to stop myself before it went to far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed hard and left nothing out as I did.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my fall and I asked to be forgiven.When I was finished,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and I went on for the rest of the day with no problems.In the ensuing days,I am hoping that I can get the strength to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer and ask for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me fight and resist these terrible urges when they come.I need to really get tough and tell Satan and his minions that they have no power over me.I need to show these unnatural desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.I need to really work on going to my Heavenly Father and ask him for strength to help me fight and resist when these temptations come around.I don't want to have these terrible and unnatural sexual desires that I have own me and not let them dictate nor define who I am and how I will act out.I am a man and my body is biologically hard-wired for compatibility with a woman as our Heavenly Father created man and woman and there are no substitutes nor exceptions.I have to continually keep that in mind.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both of these types of support each and every day and desperately.I need to reaffirmed and reassured that I am not alone in this particular struggle.I also want to be stronger than the unnatural sexual desires that I struggle with on a daily basis.I don't want them defining who I am nor dictating to me how I will be or act.Please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also ask that you leave some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to y'all for your continued prayers and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my evening study group,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ