Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I postponed my shower and had my usual quick breakfast first as I had a little bit of cleaning up to do.After that was done,I showered and when I was finished,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed for much of the day as it was raining terribly outside with thunder and lightning.I simply relaxed and listened to a little bit of music.I also relaxed on my bed and did a little bit of reading.After that,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I did a little bit more personal PC work and I did a little bit more reading.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I did give into temptation yet again by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind,which led me to fantasize and lust after those images of men.I managed to stop myself and go to my Heavenly Father in prayer and ask for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed hard and left nothing out.I confessed everything to my Heavenly Father and asked to be forgiven.When I was finished,I felt better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.I really need to stop this.I also have to stop it.I want to overcome my obsession with men and the male body.I am not getting anywhere in my journey to overcome this particular obsession and I really don't know why.If anyone out there who regularly checks my blog is reading this,please share some helpful advice on how I can overcome this terrible obsession.I already know that obsession leads to nowhere and can only get the obsessed person in trouble.I don't want to get into trouble.I want to overcome this terrible obsession and continue in my journey to heal from and overcome this terrible SSA.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers.I need your prayerful support as I am going through a very terrible and stressful emotional period right now.I also need some positive verbal support.I need some advice on how I can overcome this terrible obsession that I have.I don't want to be obsessed with men anymore,nor do I want to be obsessed with the male body anymore.If anyone out there can help me in overcoming this terrible obsession,please share in the comments section.I am desperate for advice.Please continue to pray for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments,especially some helpful and spiritual advice on how I can overcome this terrible obsession that I have so I can continue in my journey to heal from and overcome this terrible SSA,which does nothing to enhance the lives of others,but only to lead them into destruction and other unwanted consequences later on,such as AIDS and other STD's,which is something that I don't want.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of turning in another job application and a little bit of shopping,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ