Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I washed my hair over the sink and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I relaxed at home for much of the day.
I laid down for a little while as I had a headache by midday.I took something for it and I laid down.I also listened to some soothing music while doing so.When I was feeling better,I got dressed and proceeded to go out.
I went to a local bargain supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put what I had bought away and I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I watched a little TV and I also did some more personal PC work.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult struggle of the two.Today,I was tempted three times to act out on the unnatural desires that I have by fantasizing and lusting after other men and to also manipulate my genitalia to sexual images of men.The first two occurrences happened consecutively as I got up out of bed and sat down in a chair in my living room.On both of these occurrences,I reached out to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I asked for strength to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard for that strength and I kept up praying until the temptations were reduced to zero.The third occurrence happened at midday when I was laying down resting after taking something for my headache.While laying down,I prayed hard to my Heavenly Father and asked for strength to fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed hard and I didn't cease praying until the overwhelming urges were reduced to zero.I continued laying down until the headache was gone and I had no problems.I must say that Satan and his minions are going to be giving me a hard time.Since I threw my obsession with men onto my Heavenly Father and asked him to help me break free from it,alongside helping me to overcome this terrible obsession,they have been trying to tempt me to go against my Heavenly Father by tempting me to fantasize and lust after other men.I have to show them that I am stronger than these unnatural desires that I have.I also have to show them that I worship the true God,the sovereign Lord and creator of all things and that Jesus Christ is the Lord and savior of my life and also,my strength.I can't let Satan and his minions get what they want.They want me to throw in the towel and live my life as an active Homosexual man.They want me to abandon all hope and live my life in sin,debauchery and enslavement to the sinful sexual activity that goes with the territory of the so called "Homosexual/Gay" lifestyle.I can't let them do that to me nor can I let them get their way.I need to draw closer and closer to my Heavenly Father and rely on him more than anything.I realized two days ago that I haven't been relying on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ in my struggles with SSA.I also realized that not relying on them in my SSA struggles is sinful in and of itself.Again,I need to make it my resolve to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ and not on my own imperfect self.I need to continue drawing closer to them and keep up in prayer to them constantly.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers.I still need your prayerful support.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.I also still need your positive verbal support daily and often.Your support,both prayerful and positive verbal,helps keep me going.It also both reaffirms and reassures me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to pray for me.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the upcoming weekend,with the exception of church as usual on Sunday morning,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the upcoming weekend ahead.FJ