Tonight,my rocky road to recovery moves forward and onward.
Today was another work day for me.It was a mixed day,but I did get a few accomplishments done.After it was over,I went to Walgreen's to pick up something I really needed and headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed from my hard day at work and had a light meal.I did my personal PC work and relaxed for the rest of the evening until it was time to retire for the evening.A very good,but mixed day,overall.
Today,earlier in the day.I again gave into the temptation to fantasize and lust after other men.Yes,I masturbated to these images that I fantasized and lusted after.I felt so ashamed when I did this terrible thing.I also felt terrible.I also feel that I self abused myself.This has been a terrible cycle for me.I gave into temptations again.I felt miserable,ashamed and hated myself for doing so.Though I did ask my Heavenly Father to forgive me for my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ,I still feel terrible and guilty that I did these terrible things.
I have been falling into sin so much lately.I don't know why I have been doing so.I fall and then seek forgiveness,but after that,I fall again and seek forgiveness.It has been becoming a vicious cycle of falling so much into sin and asking forgiveness.I am truly sorry for what I have done,but the feelings of guilt and shame have been way too overwhelming.
I have been seeking help from all of my readers.People visit my blog,but don't leave anything in the comments section.I have also been saying things to myself angrily that are terrible and inappropriate.I don't know how to stop.I have been falling a lot lately and it's been making me feel miserable and shameful.I am ashamed of myself for giving into these terrible temptations to sin by fantasies and lusting after images of men flowing through my mind.
Again,I have been seeking help from those who have been reading my posts,but nobody leaves anything in the comments section.Please leave me some positive verbal support.I need encouragement and spiritual upbuilding.I also need prayers by all of you.Please continue praying for me.I need all the support that I can get.Thanks and Thanks to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is another work day and I hope that it all goes well.FJ