Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went by smoothly.There were no problems at all.The pick-up went surprisingly well and I managed to get a lot done.Not only that,the money that I was waiting on from my work place for repairs that my 4X4 needed to get it in great running condition also came in.I now have quite a bit of money to give my mechanic on Monday when I have to do some more running around.This is really going to help him.I can hardly wait to give it to him.Not only that,my 4X4 is running pretty good.I have had no problems with the BRAKE light coming on since my mechanic topped off my brake fluid reservoir with brake fluid.If I can go by until next Wednesday with no problems,COOL!
After I ate lunch,I dropped off the clean laundry and I headed for home.
On the way home,I had to make a stop along the way.I went to a local supermarket to buy a box of cereal for my mom.I also mailed a letter out that needed to be mailed out.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I rested up and I also finished my personal PC work.I also had a light dinner and decided to do some more last minute PC work before turning in for the night.
I had only one more errand to run before calling it a day.I had to go to a nearby drug store to buy something that I personally needed.My day is now complete.
I am now relaxing and anticipating the new day tomorrow.I don't know what to expect but I am hoping that everything goes good.
At the moment,regarding my SSA struggles,I am still feeling hopeful.I did have a brief,albiet minor,episode earlier this afternoon when I was trying to take a nap.An image of a naked man with an erection was clouding my mind and I also gave into the temptation to manipulate my sexuality but fortunately,I stopped before I was at the point of orgasm.I simply shook my head rigorously to rid myself of the image and the feelings associated with it.I slept for a little over an hour and I had no problems.I am hoping that I can stop myself from psychologically acting out in the near future.I don't want to start masturbating or even trying to track down someone who will let me act out with them.My goals are to simply find and have healthy same sex relationships where I can learn how to be a man,act as well as react like a man and just to be one of the men.I don't want anything sexual nor do I want to act out sexually with another man because it is not going to fulfill my needs any time soon nor will it give me the satisfaction that I need to feel like A MAN.I am hoping that anyone out there can help me.I am also getting tempted to visit a pornograpic site to see some guys act out sexually in a Homosexual/Gay manner.But instead,I am going to visit YouTube and watch some music videos to quench the temptation.Prayers and advice would be appreciated.Thanks in advance.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,it's the weekend.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ