Tonight,my road to recovery continues uninterrupted.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I had only a few things to do and I wanted to get them done.
I was supposed to meet with my sexual abuse support counselor today,but the office called me and cancelled because my counselor had a family emergency and wasn't in the office as a result of that.I do have an appointment with the counselor 2 weeks from now and that is okay.After hanging up,I had to alter my plans today to fill in this cancellation.
Because of the cancellation,I headed over to the Best Buy in the next county to pay my credit card bill and also,to get a few things that were needed for a new video recorder that I bought a few days ago.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues uninterrupted,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts improving soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation today.I masturbated this morning.Yes,I did.I really felt bad about giving into the temptation to masturbate.I felt bad because I know that masturbation will never give me what I want nor will it make me any closer to my lost maleness.I want to feel like a man and act and react like a man.I have to continually keep in mind that masturbation doesn't give me any fulfillment of any needs that I have that need to be fulfilled.I don't want to masturbate anymore.Why I keep doing it is a mystery to me.I want to stop masturbating.Again,if anyone out there has any ideas or suggestions on how I can accomplish this,I welcome them.Thanks.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I must attend.After that,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ