Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of my day.
I didn't have too much planned for today.I simply relaxed and read for a while and watched a little TV.I had only a couple of things on my agenda today.I had an appointment to meet with the pastor of the church and to do a little bit of grocery shopping.So,I decided to read some stuff while eagerly awaiting the time.
When it came time,I headed for the church to meet with the pastor.
The meeting went great.After the hour was over,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up several things that my mom wanted me to get.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and eagerly awaited for dinner to be ready.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation last night by masturbating.I masturbated last night and after the whole thing,I felt really miserable and felt that I had failed.This is the second consecutive fall this week.It only made me feel miserable because masturbation has a negative effect on my healing from unwanted SSA.It only makes matters worse instead of better.Plus,masturbation won't get me any closer to my lost maleness in any way,shape or form.I don't want to masturbate anymore.Masturbation,in my case,will only reinforce the Homosexual identity and keep me farther away from the true goals,such as being affirmed as a male and feeling like a man.Masturbation is unclean,inappropriate and unhealthy.I want to stop this dirty habit.I am still open to any ideas or suggestions.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ