Tonight,my road to recovery is still pressing on with hardly anything new.I had a pretty good day today.
This morning,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was finished,I got dressed.I had only a couple of things on my agenda today and I wanted to get them done.
I first went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for them,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few last minute things for the upcoming Easter holiday for my grand nieces and grand nephew.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Day after day,I am seeing and learning that the recovery from any form of mental disorder is not an easy one.It is always a very difficult road.In my case,I really don't know if I will be up or down emotionally as that is how it is with anyone who struggles with bipolar depression.In my case,having schizophrenic tendencies makes it even more difficult.The only things that I can continue to do is to continue attending my therapy sessions and also,to continue taking my medication as directed.In time,I can only hope that my recovery starts improving soon.
Regarding my struggles with SSA,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours to masturbate when I was awakened by a morning erection.It was also another throbbing one.I had to really aggressively toss and turn to resist the temptation to masturbate the erection away.In the past,I simply used to masturbate whenever I got an erection in the morning,but now that my priorities have changed,I can't do that anymore.In my case,masturbation will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is the identity that I am trying to overcome and disown from myself.I don't want to be a practicing Homosexual.I want to do what is right in God's eyes as God and his son Jesus Christ condemn the sexual activity between two members of the same gender.The Holy Bible even says that it is sinful to indulge in such sexual activity and contact with another member of one's own gender.I will just have to keep on fighting the desire to act out in other ways other than seeking a male partner to act out with.Again,I am still open to any suggestions or advice.Thanks.
Tomorrow,with it being the Easter holiday,I am planning on attending church and the Easter festivities that are going on before the worship service.I am just going to take it easy tomorrow as I really have nothing else planned.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ